LOCATION: WHAT MOST MEN DO
We’ve all heard the same advice from the average guy on meeting women; hit up the bars, go to clubs, stalk the mall, etc. You know this doesn’t work most of the time, because most guys at bars do not have women with them and do not meet women there, even though it’s most likely that they wish they did. So why is this?
Let’s start with a large assumption, which is that the guys who recommend going to bars and clubs to meet women actually have success doing so. Perhaps this worked for them, but perhaps it didn’t work for you, and it certainly isn’t working for all the guys at the bar, nursing a beer and not hanging out with the girls who are there.
The truth is, it works for the people it works for. Do you have a lot of fun at a bar or a club? Regardless of whether attractive women are there or not? If you just really like bars, then a bar is a wonderful place to meet a woman. You will be comfortable, you will have fun, and you will have the right vibe because you are enjoying yourself. She is likely there because she enjoys patronizing bars also. You’re off to a good start; you have something in common, and you were both having a good time before you even met each other.
So if going to the bar is something you like doing before your sex life even enters the equation, then it’s absolutely recommended, because it matches your lifestyle. But if you’re just not hip to the bar scene, why go? You won’t enjoy yourself and you won’t be comfortable. How do you expect to attract a woman under these circumstances?
The best answer to that riddle, is alcohol. But is that what you want? Again, if you are the party animal who likes drinking and striking up conversations with random strangers, then you will surely be the sensation of the bar, and girls who are there to drink and try to have fun will have a blast with you.
Otherwise, you are really just playing the role of a predator. You’re not in your own element, you’re not comfortable, and you’re looking for women who had a bit too much to drink and will be weak minded and weak willed because of it. You’re there for nothing else than to hunt down the slowest gazelle.
Granted, this can perhaps get you some drunken sex. But if you’re looking for something that feels right, for you and for her, you may want to think of a different location for your stomping grounds. This is not to say that you can’t meet a great woman for you at a bar. It’s only to say that, if you’re not into bars at all, you’ll have a much harder time finding a woman there who can connect with you there. In order to connect, you need to both be comfortable and enjoying yourselves.
The same goes for clubs. If you can somehow still be charming while engaging in a screaming competition masked as a conversation, then by all means go for it. If you just love the loud music and love dancing and drinking and having a good time with a bunch of people doing the same, you have a great chance of meeting someone you can connect with.
PLACES TO MEET WOMEN BESIDES BARS & CLUBS?
What else is there besides the fabled bars and clubs? Well that’s the real secret. Just do what you ordinarily do, but become more aware of the opposite sex as you go about your day. You can really meet women anywhere you are, if there is a woman there to be met. Just be in tune with your surroundings and be in tune with yourself.
Here are some great places to meet women:
- grocery stores
- clothing stores
- sporting events
- your neighborhood
- book stores
This is just a short list. But do you notice something about it? There’s nothing inherently exciting about any of these places. These are not locations typically known for being mating grounds. It’s just stuff you do in your life routine. Just go do what you want to do, do it for you first, and the rest will follow. But in order for the rest to follow, you must lead. If an attractive woman is in the same aisle of the grocery store as you, talk to her. If you go to church and see an attractive woman there, talk to her. If you are walking around your neighborhood and see a woman walking her dog or doing yard work, talk to her. You don’t need a special ritual or specific location to work your magic. It just needs to be right for you and for your lifestyle.
MEETING WOMEN: HOW?
So now you are aware that you can meet women anywhere, and if the bar doesn’t cut it for you, you can comfortably leave it behind. But maybe you just grind to a halt during the whole ‘approach’ part. Why yes, there is an attractive woman who is a regular at the grocery store, but what can I possibly say to her?
Jump into the moment with her, and the conversation will come naturally. It doesn’t have to be anything amazing, particularly clever or fascinating. Let’s say you’re in the grocery store, eyeballing the jars of mayonnaise, trying to figure out which brand to buy. If someone came up to you and playfully mentioned their favorite mayonnaise at this store, your day just got more interesting. And hey, maybe you would even appreciate the advice.
It’s no different with these women either. If this girl in the grocery store seems like she’s having a hard time deciding what to get, playfully offer to help her decide. If she seems like she knows exactly what she’s after, ask her what makes that particular product or brand so good. Just notice what’s going on in the present. There isn’t a right or wrong answer; just start talking!
The real key is, no matter what the subject of the conversation, your attention is still on her. Everything in the conversation is for you to learn something new about her. That’s the energy you need to convey. She will pick up on it. If you are talking about something as pointless as mayonnaise for example, you want to know why she likes that mayonnaise, not why she likes that mayonnaise; see the difference?
DO YOU CARE ABOUT WHAT IS GOING ON?
That point ties right in to another important thing, maybe even the most important thing. You need to actually care about what is being said, by you, and by her. If this is a scripted line, if it sounds insincere, mechanical or superficial, buzzers start going off immediately. All you need to do is be social, be alive in the moment, and care about what’s happening around you and what’s being experienced. When she responds to you, she is telling you what’s on her mind. RIGHT. NOW. Be there with her, and care about what’s on her mind, even just as one human being to another. Show her that you care about what she just said by adapting the conversation based on what just came out of her mouth. Think about what she’s saying, not what you should say next. That’s called conversation, it’s called connecting emotionally, and women love it.
Of course, most people are not used to the opposite sex approaching them and discussing their grocery shopping, so they will automatically be off balance a bit. But that’s alright; you want them reacting to you. In fact, if you feel you’re getting to a lull and you don’t really feel like there is something you want to say or do next, well, the conversation has run its course. Don’t stick around like you have an objective; you’re just living your life, and you decided to share a moment of it with this person. Take your leave instead of waiting around like you need her to do something so you can continue with your life. That is you reacting to her, and as a man, that’s a bit of a no-no. If she is enjoying your company, she will make sure you stay involved in the interaction; you won’t need to work at it any more than what is natural to do.
If she goes quiet, she is either uncomfortable, bored, or just shy. She might even just be waiting for your next move, which is good; that means she’s reacting to you and inviting you to take the lead. Guys, this is where eye contact is key. Look at her eyes. What do they tell you? If you have even just decent observational skills, you will have a decent idea if she feels awkward or if her attention is wandering because she is bored. If she seems attentive but isn’t saying much, she’s probably just waiting for your move; she is inviting you to lead the situation by being a bit more passive.
Whatever she is experiencing, who knows; she could be feeling almost anything, right? But you, what are you feeling? Are you experiencing what you want? You surely don’t want to just stand there with nothing to say to each other or to do. If it feels like it’s time to say bye, it probably is! If you weren’t enjoying the conversation that much to begin with, and you still don’t have her number, does it matter if you don’t get it because you walked away? Maybe you will see her on the next visit to the grocery store. Or maybe you will cross her path in another aisle as you both continue to shop, and you can rekindle the conversation since there’s a new circumstance and interaction to share.
Or maybe, you won’t see her ever again. And you know what? That should be okay too. Other attractive women will shop at the grocery store, other attractive women will be accessible for the rest of your life. If nothing stirred either of you to feel right about trying to continue a conversation further or to meet up later, then maybe it just wasn’t that great of an idea to begin with.
But the real point is, you can meet women anywhere that you are; you just need to go talk to them and enjoy yourself. If you are having a good time, chances are, so will they.
START MEETING MORE WOMEN TODAY
Meeting women comes down to two things- Where and How.
If you are going to places that are not interesting to you just because you know women will be there you are setting yourself up for failure. Bars and clubs are NOT the only places. Women are literally everywhere. In these other places too most women will not have a guard up and it is actually far easier to meet and interact with women. You really just need to focus on going to places that YOU enjoy. Women will be there. You like Comics and superheroes? Go to comic con. Have you ever seen the women dressed up in costumes there? Just saying. Point is- figure out what YOU enjoy and start doing those activities. If you dont know what you enjoy, start trying different things to find out what it is that you do enjoy.
Your conversations at such events will also be natural. You wont have to think is some “line” because you are already an expert at what is going on (hey you’re doing something you like, right?) and women will notice this and be extremely attracted to you.
Much of this comes down to really knowing your inner self and becoming who you are authentically.
You can figure it out for yourself and learn by trial and error- but that might take you years. OR you can save yourself some time and read our “Be The Man She’ll Love (and you’ll love too)” today – and learn today how to become the confident man who is being himself on all levels congruently that women want to follow.
It may seem like a small thing to do, but it could change forever the way women are attracted to you (and the way you take control of your own life outside of women) and it will shed years off your learning curve to become the powerful man full of confidence that is within your inner core. You will also meet more women in a month doing the things you already love than most men do in years. Best if all you’ll know exactly what to say… so check it out here:
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